Ready....set.....oops

I got home late tonight. We had to make a side trip to the hospital. Seems two of the girls when doing a cheer stunt fell off the top and one fell on top of the other. After practice I went down to the hospital and waited for word. It seems the one that fell on top is ok, but the one girl on bottom, it doesn't look so good. It looks as though she might have either dislocated her hip or broken it. I'll write more tomrrow. I sleepy.

The panic button

Little sis actually got some excitement today. The place where she works got robbed. She called and said that a man came in and jumped up onto the teller counter and demanded all their 100 dollar bills. Since the guys back was turned she was able to get under her desk. She actually feels bad that she hid. What the fuck? I wouldn't. Hell, if there was a back door close by I probably would have serpentined right out the fucker. She said she was on the phone with a customer when the guy came in and she actually said, "We're getting robbed I have to go now" and hung up. That made me laugh. She has to go to a mandatory counseling session on Thrusday. How awful that must have been for her and how sad was it that the police didn't show up until 10 minutes after the guy left. When the guy first walked in , she thought he was a maintenace guy there to change a lightbulb when he jumped up on the counter. Poor girl. I called her after we got the call from Mom so I of course called her and said, "What's up Bonnie and Clyde?" I told her to see if there was some kind of bonus money award for going thru that. Probably not. All she'll get is a cramped neck from hiding under the desk and a counseling session. Damn.

Money...definition:

A generally accepted medium for the exchange of goods and services, for measuring value, or for making payments.

Show me the money.

Money doesn't buy happiness....but it sure helps

In the money

Right on the money put (one's) money where (one's) mouth is

Color of one's money; easy money; even money; fool and his money are soon parted; for one's money; funny money; get one's money's worth; hush money; in the money; made of money; not for love or money; on the money; pay your money and take your choice; pin money; pocket money; put money on; put one's money where one's mouth is; rolling in it (money); run for one's money; throw good money after bad; time is money

And so on and so on and so on. You get the picture. It seems everyone is having a hell of a time with money right now and I feel like shit about it.

Time for a trim....

No, you dirty bastards, not that kind. I'm talking a hair cut. A hair cut from hell, no less. You know that little voice of yours that sometimes taps you on your shoulder and says, "um excuse me, maybe that wouldn't be a good idea." Yeah, I go all WWF on that voice, slam it down and dape tuct that fucker down, it seems. Yes, I did it. I got the haircut that shouldn't have been. I should have known. The guy cutting it looked like a Rip Torn reject. Same clothes, same way of speaking, same gay sense. It looks as though he only knew how to cut one way. I was desperate though. It was right across the street from my office, I could do it during lunch, and I couldn't take my hair one bit longer. I had grown out my bangs for like 2 years, and it was driving me crazy how I had to show my forehead (not a fivehead, but close) all the time. So I went in and said, "I want my bangs back and a little cut off the top." I said specifically, "I don't wanna look like some butch dike though" Wrong thing to say, I guess, cause that's what it turned out like. You ever seen Joe Dirt? Okay, imagine that cut on me. . You get what you pay for I guess. I got a cut hoping that I could stop putting my hair up in a clip. Guess I'll be putting my hair back in one until this shit grows out.

A girly girl

It's finally happened. My daughter realizes she's not a girly girl and its starting to cause problems. The girl is in 6th grade and there's some problems at school with some "friends". She came to me tonight and told me that one of her so called friends is giving her problems. My first response is always to tell her "fuck her, you don't need her as a friend". Problem is all her other friends do what this one little bitch says. She actually cried tonight and said she feels bad and doesn't know why she doesn't like her. My heart broke. I remember those days. I told her that I had a group of friends and we had a falling out in the 7th grade and I didn't hang out with them for a whole year. I found one girl and I stayed with her everyday. By the time 8th grade came around, we were all friends again. My girl is an athlete. Give her a sport and she can amaze you. From volleyball to softball to cheer. These other girls aren't. They like to walk the yard and talk about people. She doesn't want to gossip and doesn't know how to fix this. So, I said "Operation Audree" will commence tomorrow. I told her "do not compromise who you are, but you may want to think about adding a little girly girl to you". She perked up a little about that to my amazement. We sat and talked about ideas that we could do. I said once in awhile call some of the girls up and chat. Now I hated doing this at her age. All of my girlfriends loved to talk on the phone and that's one of the reasons I fell out with them that summer. If your not in the know, you'll get talked about cause your not there. I gave her some really cute post its and said take them to school and get everyones nubmers on them and stick them inside of your folder. Then every now and then call one of them up for a "girly girl chat". Bring one of her Teen Vogue or Elle Girl magazines to school with you in your backpack. We'll do the painting of the nails things and wear the lip gloss. Do the hug thing with the girls that you see on the playground. Shit like that. I said you can be yourself and still add a touch of these things here and there and still not lose who you are. Do not let that "friend" get the best of you. Do not stop playing sports if that's what you want to do. I never thought I would have to do this talk with her. She's so indepenedant and everything just rolls off her back. I guess the time has come to realize that she's at that age that girls can get mean and its time to fight back. Along the way I told her "to take the leader out of the game". If she disses you, diss her back. She tries to burn you, act like its your brother and get her back. She's my girl and I will help her, within reason, to start getting her to feel good about herself again. I think that's she's getting ready for the big M and her emotions and feelings are getting all haywiry. Lord help me, that will be another battle in itself.

My husband

My 14th anniversary is upon me. I have stayed married to my "wonderful" husbnd for that many years. I can't belive it. We will be celebrating August 24th. Here's some things about dear ol hubby.

1. He's of mexican descent.

2. He's short and round.

3. He likes to drink. Alot.

4. But never alone.

5. He's not really good with the kids, but I totally make up for it.

6. He has had 7 jobs since the age of 18.

7. He is 1 year older than I.

8. He speaks Spanish fluently, but does not write it.

9. He is hilarious.

10. Probably why I still am with him. The day he stops making me laugh is the day he find his shit on the lawn.

11. He can never stay mad at me no mater what.

12. Big bonus for me.

13. He smokes.

14. He always said he wanted either 6 kids or 6 dobermans.

15. He doesn't have either.

16. He is a people person. Any age, race, personality. It doesn't matter. He has old friends, young friends, people on the police force, ex-cons, women, men, Mexican, Chineese, Indian, African American, White, Hmong, .....it just doesen't matter.

17. Around town to most, he is known as the Godfather. Try hearing that while walking thru Wal Mart. Hilarious!

18. He is a good dancer. That's why I never dance with him.

19. He has prettier feet than me.

20. He was a figther since he was little. Always in a fist fight with someone and always won.

21. He's broken his nose twice. I said won the fight, but I didn't say he came out unscathed.

22. He listens to spanish, oldies and rap.

23. He can't go to bed without me. I always have to lay down for awhile with him so that he can drift off to beddy bye. Pathetic.

24. He calls me everyday to make sure that I'm up and getting ready for work.

25. He knows I have a problem with my spending and I know he has a problem with his drinking. I think its a fair swap.

26. He can't go anywhere, and I mean anywhere without knowing someone. Once when he was doing long-haul and he stopped in a diner in Washington, he saw a friend from long ago. What's the chances of that happening.

27. He takes care of all the bills.

28. He's a better decorator than I.

29. I like to call him "Marcos Stewart"

30. He luvs old karate movies. Subtitled ones and all.

31. He has to sleep in his boxers and have it freezing cold to be able to sleep comfortable.

32. He has to have sex at least 4 times a week or he gets cranky. I keep hoping his libido slows down as he ages. It's not.

33. He hates my taste of music and t.v shows.

34. All except Buffy and Angel and Entourage. I got him hooked on those.

35. He has the most beautiful long lashes. Both my kids got them also.

36. Did I mention he's short and round?

37. He is going white fast. His mustache and beard are even starting go there. He blames me for all his whitness.

38. My dad and he got along great. More like father-son than son-in-law.

39. I know he still misses him terribly, but doesn't like to talk about it.

40. His biggest fear is that he will get swallowed up in a big wave.

41. He wants to get cremated.

42. He's great at working on his cars, but it bores him.

43. He can fix almost anything as long as there is beer.

44. He once decorated a Christmas tree with budweiser cans as decorations. There was Bud, Bud Light, & Bud Ice cans hanging all over the damn thing.

45. He used to have a bicycle without a seat as a kid.

46. He once had to drag a xmas tree 12 blocks to home, cause his drunk dad forgot to pick him up. Needless to say the tree became a "Charlie Brown" tree by the time he made it home.

47. He was born in Texas

48. He is the second to the youngest kid out of 5 but is treated more like the father than a brother.

49. He used to be able to lift 350lbs when he was younger. Ah, those were the days.

50. I know somewhere I put in here that he was short and round, right?

51. He is computer illeterate.

52. He's an excellent artist. He can draw anyone or anything if he can just sit still long enought to do it.

53. He hurt his back in a work accident and was out of work for 1 1/2 years.

54. He's allergic to bees. Hence the reason I always say I'm going to get a hive for the backyard.

55. He has a chipped front tooth and wants to fix it but knows the girl is going to need braces.

56. He's generous to a point and is not selfish most of the time.

57. He can stay out until 6:00 in the morning and knows that I won't be mad.

58. He also knows that the bank account will get hit hard by me the day after he does that.

59. Short

60. Round

61. He has a huge scar on his stomache where he got his appendix out as a kid.

62. He's a procrastinator....like me.

63. He's a very light sleeper...not like me.

64. He's never picked up a book to just read since I've known him.

65. When going to see a movie, he must have a large popcorn, large drink, and whoppers.

66. He snores only when he's been drinking.

67. He has 20/20....not like me.

68. He loves trying new foods. Proably where the round comes in.

69. He cannot drink a beer with dinner. Only after or before.

70. He has to have 8 hrs of sleep.

71. He can still pop and break dance like none other.

72. He once went to a bar with dog shit on the back of his coat. He was fighting with his friend and they rolled around on the grass. Everyone was scared to say anything to him about it.

73. He has driven in the past, a white Mazda 626, my old toyota celica, a red Mitsubishi truck, a silver Nissan Sentra, and a silver convertible little car (can't remember what type)

74. My dad let him take his brown Toyota Corona to take his driver liscence test.

75. He left me in the hospital the first night his son was born to go out and celebrate. Bastard.

76. When my daughter was born, he got to go in and see the C-Section being done. His exact words. "It's a mess in there. It looks complicated, l.ike a bunch of car parts."

77. "Yeah, Yeah, Strawberry."

78. He once went away for the army when he was 18 and came back like 2 1/2 months later. I still say he went and did itme somewhere and he just doesn't want me to know.

79. In grief we're horrible for each other. He stays away from me and I stay away from him.

80. He still likes to hold hands when we walk.

81. He never bad-mouths me in public to anyone outside the family that is. But always with a sense of humor.

82. I love that short, round man.

Time off

Not actually from work , but a day home after work. No cheer for me tomorrow. Im actually having hubby go and pick up the girl so that I can stay home and clean a bit. The house is in shambles. Shoes, dishes, clothes, ...etc are all laying around this house. I can't even look around without seeming some pile in every room. I came home exhausted today and it was only picutre day. 40 some odd girls trying to primp before their pic is taken. What a mess. Girls, girls everywhere. I had to get my girls in a line and actually have them stay there. Not good. It was hot and the girls looked miserable. Not to say the least, the photog's they got sucked. We're writing a letter to the company to say how horrible they were. As soon as the shoot was over, it was over to see my godson practice soccer, since this will be the only day that I could do this, I braved the heat and dehydration to go out there and root for him. Hubby was coming home from LA today and I really wanted to clean up a bit before he did, but alas, he came home first. When I did come home, it was pick up shit off the floor so that I could actually walk around a bit. Homework check for the boy that didn't go all to well. I will not let what happened last year go this year. No academic probation for the boy this year. Get the girl ready for bed and start a load of towels. What a life. When the house was quiet and I actually got to sit down and watch some t.v., I turned on the last episode of Six Feet Under. How depressing. I cried like the whole last 45 minutes of it. I am now in full dehydratin mode. If I smoke anymore cig's, I think i'm gonna dry up for good.

HOME

I'm finally home. It's now 11:00 pm and I'm just getting home today. Today was the first day of school for both my kids. One is in 6th and the other 8th. The first day of school for an unorganized person is like Hiroshima. I'm in a war zone and I'm not at all prepared. This morning started at 6:45. Kids up, wahed up, and dressed. Cool. The girl wanted to have her hair curled, so there I am 1/2 hr curling a think massive head of curls. We were of course late and we moved out of there at 8:00, much to the dismay of the girl. She wanted to go early so she can see all her friends. After work, it was off to get my nails done and then it was to the cheer advisors home to drop off the pee wee's book and look over new shirts we were getting the parents of the girls. Next, Kentucky Frid Chicken for the husband. He has to go in at 3:45 am tonight (tomorrow, whatever). The kids and I decided to leave for Fresno @ 7:00 to get last minute things and dinner while we were up there. What a fucking mistake that was. People with RP have an internal day/night watch in them, and I was way into the not listening to my brain, that 7:00 was not the time for me to drive up there let alone home. Went to the mall and bought the kids shoes and socks. Ate some pizza and decided that 8:50 was time to start heading home. Shit....if it was soooo easy. The road I traveled down is a road I take to work in the winter. It's not a freeway, so its ok for me to drive a little slower and it's only a 2 lane up and back. Got more than half way home and there's a detour. The road leading to the short freeway home was blocked. I turned around and took an alternate road. What a fucking mistake. As I was making the turn to go to the old highway, I turned myself around and started heading back from where I cam from. OH MY GOD! The kids and I were talking and I guess I was concentrating too hard on seeing that I didn't notice that I had really drove a long time. I should have been home by now. Shit, wrong way. I traveled a good 15 miles until I saw the lights of a small city that I new I shouldn't have been in. Dear Lord, I'm lost. At night. On a deserted road with both my kids!!!!! Fuck, I have never felt so scared as I did then.
I managed to get on the big freeway and get myself going south and lo and behold, they're working on that road too! 3 lanes going into one due to construction. Lots of cars, lots of people working, lots of big shiny lights, for which is like a death sentence for RP'ers. A trip home that should have only been 30 minutes, turned into an hour. White knuckling it all the way. 10 mintues from home, my mantra was, "Ill never do this again. Ill never do this again". The kids were good. They helped me when they could. Once in town, I went to my mother in laws to pick up hubbys lunch that she made and I dropped off some shirts I had bought my nephews for school. AFter that it was to the store to buy me much needed cancer sticks and then home to drop off the kids, so they could get to bed at a halfway decent hour. Next to my compas house to smoke a little and relax.
I came home, made my hubby's coffee, checked on the kids and whalah! on the computer to write this shit down. What a fucking day. I'm exhausted. I am so ill prepared for this school shit.

Time....

there's just not enough hours in the day somedays. I wish today would never be, the 17th of August is not the greatest day to remember. My dad passed away on this day in 2001. My mom gets upset that I don't remember it or say anything about today. The first year "anniversary" of this day, my mom and I were shopping and she realized that "today was the day". "Quick", she said, "what time is it?....what time is it...i don't know 3:00 ish. Why? "I need to know for Daddy" I got mad. Why would you want to remember the time of death? I asked her, "What time was he born?" " I don't know," she said. "Then why would you remember the time of death?" That's just me though. It's not a day that I want to remember so why would I have it burned into my memory? I'll never tell her, but I always remember. As soon as Dad's birthday comes rolling along, I know his passing will too. I think subconsciously I keep myself really really busy. Just as I did the day he left us. I never even thought of it until today when I was talking to baby sis. I was sooo tired today. Work, cheer (advisor had to take off and left me with the girls plus it was "birthday day" for all August girls), shoe shopping for son, and then 9:00 Wal Mart shopping for the girl. Just barely sat down, and I know i have about 2 hrs worth of work ahead of me. Laundry, ironing, packing lunch, getting prepared for first day of school shit that I'm never really ever good at. I mean, come on, what parent goes shopping for a backpack and pencils the night before school. LOOOOOOOO-sah! So with everything going on, I believe someone wants me to be as busy as I can be on this day. For my sanity , and for those who are around me, I belive this.

It's Cheer time.

Here I am, 11:00 and I'm exhausted. Cheer has been reving up and we've been painting posters for two days. My hand are permantly stained black I think. It's all up in my nails and try as I might to get the shit off, I still look like I'm a grease monkey. It's hot outside and we're painting on the hot ass sidewalk. They look sooo good, I hate to see them being torn to shreds when the football players go running through them. It seems as though that I will be playing a bigger part in my daughters cheer squad this year. Helping, planning, organizing...wheeeeeee. It's just began and I'm tired already. Damn.

RAMBLE:
You know when your pathetic? When it's 11:00 at night and you go into the kitchen and pull out the 5 gallon tub of chocolate chip ice cream and a knife. The knife cuts through the ice cream faster. You stand there at your bar and begin to eat, while your smoking on a cigarette. Shoot me now please.

Happy Birthday

Today is August 7th. It is Dad's birthday. He would have been 69 years old. He died on the 17th of this month. We all threw him a surprise 65th party. We didn't even tell our mom we were throwing it. My husband and the kids and I went to go pick him and mom up to go to his favorite "spaghetti house" for a birthday dinner. Everyone and I mean everyone waited for him at my house to shout "surprise". We told my Dad that we wanted him to go look at the new grass that we had just put in the backyard before we went to dinner. Best thing we could come up with. He started to grumble but eventually got out of the van. When he walked in, everyone yelled and my dad of course when it came down to the speech said, "I guess this means I don't get my spaghetti dinner". We had aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, cousins in every inch of my house and I am sooo glad that we did this for him. We made sure he took a picture with each family there so that we could have it for memories. Little did we know that he would leave us 7 days later.

He was tired I guess. He was sick off and on for a long time. My dad and I were close. I would like to say that I am a lot like him some ways. Which could be bad or good. My husband and him were like father and son. He came to the house a lot to drink and kick back with our friends. He fit in. The guys would play cards, watch football and boxing and of course drink. He even came to our friends bachelor party that we had at our house. He sat in his chair and watched the festivities and even partaked in some. My sisters never got a chance to see him in action, hell I bet hubby's got a lot more stories than I do. They went fishing a lot towards the end. Hubby, Dad, Porky, Art, Black Ronnie, Danny...all of them. They were a gang. Even though they did drink and I'm sure that the drinking helped speed up his sickness, I was glad that he got to "hang with the boys". My hubby always said that he wasn't going to stop and there was nothing we could do, so why don't we just let him enjoy his life. I'd like to think that he did enjoy his times over here.

I got a call in the early morning one day and it was mom saying Dad wasn't feeling well. I rushed over there with the kids and my mom was trying to help him up off the couch to get washed up to take him to the hospital. I helped him into the bathroom and sat him down on the toilet. My mom left to get a towel and he was starting to mumble. He couldn't sit up anymore and I yelled for mom to call the ambulance, something was wrong. His eyes went to the back of his head and he couldn't speak. I started to cry and tell him "this is it. no more drinking. when you get through this time, that's it. your scaring me" His head lolled up and I couldn't understand what he was saying. I just held him until the ambulance came. When the EMT's came they laid him out in the hall and started to go to work. They took him to the local hospital. As he lay there, they had him hooked up to some mchines, and had one of those monitor thingsy on one of his fingers. He tried talking off and on, but we couldn't understand him. The last thing that my father said that we could make out was, "What is this?", meaning the finger monitor. I expalined to him, its just so that they could find out what was going on. Throughout the next day, I expalined everything that was going on with him and what everybody was doing to him and who was there. I don't even know if he understood or even heard, but I wanted him to hear my voice and to let him know what was what. My mom and I stayed with him thru the night. I slept off and on, but my mom was soo strong. She stood there all night just looking at him. I don't think she slept at all that night. She just stood. Sometime in the early morning or night, I can't remember which, it just kinds of bleed together now, but the priest came in to give him the last rites. My mother and I were able to be there for that. I still didn't think that this was necessary. He was always in and out of the hospital. He would come out just like he always did. He was my dad, of course he would. There was a boxing match the next week. My 10th anniversay was coming up. There was a lot of stuff that he had to be there for. He would get out. Why is the priest there?

In the early morning hours, the doctor said that we had to make a decision. We all went into a room and talked it over. We agreed that my dad did not want to stay on a life support machine. We said to take him off. Papers were signed and family came in to say goodbye. When the machines went off, my dad went very very quickly. I was on his right side, my mom on his left. My hubby, oldest sis/hubby, youngest sis/hubby, i think my Aunt and her daughter...i don't know. I held his hand and talked. I said we were all here, that it was ok, that we would take care of mom, that we loved him. I told him who was in the room, that my middle sis was on the phone (she couldn't come down as of yet), thank you for being my dad, thank you for being there and watching my kids, thank you for picking up the kids from school when it rained....i don't know what the fuck i said. That last one still makes me laugh, why the fuck i would say that, is beyond me to this day. I wanted to say soo much and i said, "thank you for picking up the kids from school when it was raining? what a retard. The doctor came in and said "he's gone". He's gone? I don't get it. I think i went into shock there for a bit. I stood up and went to the corner of the room and just sat there. I remember some people, I think my cousin Joann coming and hugging me....I remember my hubby coming and saying something, I don't know what. We left the hospital and I came home to tell my kids. I won't get into that here. I got it in my head, that I would call everyone. I called everyone that I could think of. I thought maybe the more people I called, it would sink in or something. I called his work. I called his friends. I called the insurance people. I called the De Oro people where he paid into a funeral plan. I called my friends. Anyone and everyone, so that I could keep my mind busy and keep my fingers dialing. The rest is a blur. He's still thought of everday. He's still missed everday. I sit in his orange chair that's in my garage and I cry.

My dad's gone.....that's all I want to say about that.

Bocephus Rocks

Ok, well maybe not rocks, but he puts on a hell of show for an older country man. I hate country, but it didn't stop me from going to see Hank Williams Jr in concert at a local casino last night. Free tickets, what can I say. They were regular $85.00. I know I wouldn't see him for that kind of money, but for free??? Not a problem. I have a friend that's Mom is always at the casino and gets the tickets comp'd. Sooooo nice.

Here's a little backstory for those of who are completely ignorant like me:

Randall Hank Williams ("Bocephus" was his late father's fond nickname for him) was born May 26, 1949, a month before Hank Sr.'s landmark first appearance on the Grand Ole Opry, and he was 3 when the elder Williams died. At 8, he went on stage as Hank Williams Jr. with his father's songs, voice and mannerisms. He debuted on the Opry at age 11 and at 14 made his first hit record, a rendition of his father's "Long Gone Lonesome Blues." A year later, he sang all the songs on the soundtrack of Your Cheatin' Heart, Hank Sr.'s film biography. In his teens, he learned piano from Jerry Lee Lewis, appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show and performed for crowds of 20,000 people.

My friend, baby sis and I were seated in the 8th row and we had good seats. We were across from what looked like the biggest Hank fan around. He was whooping and yelling throughout the first 30 mintues, so like a good wanna be fan, I matched his yells!! "We love you Hank", "Rock on Bocephus", "Atta boy Hank", and so on. I was probably annoying after awhile, but I wanted ol Hank to know he had two "loyal" fans in the 8th row. At exactly 9:01, Hanks biggest fan, passed the fuck out. Hilarious. My baby sis, said "look, he's gone"....I thought he had left but I looked next to me and he just sat there in his chair, eyes closed, head straight with a small smile on his face. We watched this free entertainment for the next 1hr 1/2 off and on, until we saw his ol lady looking back at us. We never did see him leave. Don't know if he walked out on his own or was drug out.

Hank had a really good mix of songs and his lyrics were cool to listen to. I must say, its been a long time since I've seen so many white people all in one place. :) Bocephus rocked until 10:30 (no encore) and we left to walk to the casino where I lost $60.00 only. Baby sis won $35.00. I was soooo hoping that she would've won. the asshole guy we were with actually won $225.00 on a triple 7. Damn. I had wished that was her. Oh well, there's always Vegas in January hopefully!!


Ramblings:

Me: Babe, there's a whole bunch of scratches on my drivers door.

Husb: "that's from your g-damn keys"

Me: What the fuck do you mean?

Husb: "that's from your fucking keys when you get in. i told you not to have so many fucking things on your keys, now there's all kinds of scratches and i'm not paying to have them buffed out"

Me: hey you fucking dumb-ass, i don't ever use my keys to get in the car stupid, i have a fuckin' alarm. those keys never go near the fucking door.

Husb: oh, that's right. well then i don't know what they're from then

Me: Asshole.

(typical phone conversation between me and hubby. that's not us yelling or being mad, that's just our normal everyday talk. damn, when you read it, it does sound bad...hahahaha)

100 Things About Me

1. I can describe myself as a "compulsive personality" type.

2. Once I am hooked on something, I can't quit.

3. Blogger is my new obsession. We'll see how long this one lasts.

4. My oldest sister got me started.

5. My last one (and to be honest my forever one) is Buffy the Vampire Slayer and ANGEL.

6. My baby sister got me started.

7. I blame others for my obsessions.

8. I luv anything Winnie the Pooh and gang.

9. I have 3 tattoos. Winnie, Eeyore, and Tigger all on my back.

10. My husband hates them and I didn't tell him about any of them. At times, he says he feels like he's screwing a zoo.

11. I hide money. I can't help it.

12. I bought my Nissan Altima without telling him. He saw it in the driveway when he got home from work. Needless to say he wasn't too happy. Something about making decisions together, blah blah blah......

13. Oh by the way, I'm married. Have been for 14 years this August.

14. I'm too young to be married for that long.

15. I have 2 kids. A boy and a girl. I figured I was finished after that.

16. I worry that my boy "doesn't fit in".

17. I worry that my daughter does.

18. I live on peanut butter sandwiches.

19. My favorite word is any variation of the word "fuck". Funny though, I don't like typing it all that much. Fuckin' weirdo.

20. For the most part, my husband and I get along......as long as he does what he wants and I do what I want.

21. I am a hot person. Not in the sense of hot hot, but in the sense that my body radiates heat.

22. I have RP and am night blind. It sucks.

23. I have never really seen a starry night. I can pick out the stars. Everyone else sees falling stars, the big dipper, shit like that. I see the North Star and maybe a plane or two.

24. When I was little, my family (for fun) would ask me to spread my toes, I blame them for my disfigured "french fry" toes of today.

25. As a child I had my very own "gum tree". They would take me ou there and there would be gum tied to the tree and I would go pick it. They still had the Juicy Fruit wrappers on. Fucking gullable kid, I know.

26. I totally have no rhyme or reason to this list, so don't be surprised if I go all over with this.

27. I am disorganized.

28. I hate the heat. I get very frustrated and angry in the heat and take it out on everybody!

29. I luv scary movies. The scarier the better.

30. When I was 14 I slit my wrist. Obviously it didn't work.

31. The sad thing is that I didn't have a fucking reason to do it.

32. I have lost touch with all my high school friends. Never really felt the need to stay friends. How sad.

33. I was very shy as a child.

34. I always tell people that I still am and they laugh.

35. I am a smoker. 4-6 cigs a day. Never during the day. Only at night.

36. I am a procrastinator. I'll tell you why later.

37. Everyday I wake up and say that I will be a better person.

38. Everyday some asshole give me a reason to say fuck that.

39. I hate the words, "ciggies", "tinkle", "undies", "old lady", and "boobies". Everything else is cool.

40. I sometimes cry on the way home from work for my Dad. I never tell anyone.

41. I've had 3 dreams exactly about my Dad. 1) he told me to get out of his chair, 2)night before my oldest sis's renewing of her vows, he was sitting in the back of the church and said he wished he could be there for hers and mine. 3) i don't like to talk about it , so we'll leave it right there.

42. A co-worker went to a psychic a couple of weeks after my Dad passed away. He said that a military man of Hispanic race came to him and said "thak you for everything that you did for me". He didn't know any such man. He came to me and said maybe it was my Dad saying thank you for him helping out at his funeral. (which he did). I told my middle sister this in passing like 3 months later and she said it was Dad trying to communicate to me thru this co-worker. She was big time into John Edwards at the time. Part of me wants to belive that so very much and part of me just can't.

43. After that I think my middle sister didn't like me just a little bit more.

44. I used to be double jointed as a kid.

45. Bet my husband wished I still was.

46. I hate the fact that my baby sister lives so far away and wished she came home.

47. I luv rock and 80's music.

48. I still go to concerts as often as I can. So far my kids still think its cool.

49. My husband hates that I go to them and tells me to "grow up", to which I reply, "Fuck you". That's a grown up word, right?

50. I've never stolen anything in my life, except my one time best friend's "boyfriend"

51. I ended up being married to him. She won.

52. I luv the smell of Strawberry Creme candles.

53. When I was little, I was standing in the middle of an army of ants. They started to crawl up my legs and I panicked. I grabbed a nearby hammer and started beating my legs to kill them. How stupid was I.

54. I am deathly afraid of June bugs. No particular reason.

55. My husband is allergic to bees. I always say that I'm going to get a bee hive for the back yard.

56. I have to sleep on the right side of the bed no matter where I'm at. Call it a quirk.

57. I can touch my tongue to my chin, but not my nose.

58. For being 200lbs, I am a very picky eater. Go figure.

59. I've worked at the same place for 10 years.

60. Wish I can say that about my dear hubby.

61. My daughter is everything that I am not. She is going to be an amazing woman when she grows up.

62. My son is everything I am. I feel guilty about that.

63. When my high school principal found out that I was dating my husband, he took me aside and asked me if I knew what the hell I was doing.

64. I can recite the entire "Tombstone" and "Pulp Fiction" movies.

65. I just found out that I remembered my oldest sisters telephone number from 20 years ago.

66. My mind is crammed full of useless shit like that. I need to make some room, so that I can remember to pay my cell phone on time.

67. I'm horrible with credit cards. I once racked up $1000.00 in a month. I'm still paying that shit off.

68. I don't give a flying fuck what people say about me. I think that's a bad thing sometimes.

69. I like weed. It makes me feel good. I wish it did my body good.

70. My husband and I used to have knock down drag out fights when we were first married. Like clockwork, twice a year for 3 years, we "vented". I won sometimes. He has the scars to prove it.

71. I was the last person to hold my Dad at his house before he was taken to the hospital.

72. I wished I wasn't angry at him at the time for scaring the shit out of me and telling him "this is it, your not drinking any more".

73. I once found my mom in a closet crying and I freaked out.

74. I baby sat my principals grandchild for a whole summer when I was 18. What a mistake that was by them.

75. I get scared sometimes knowing that my eyesight will get as bad as my mothers. That fucking sucks.

76. I have to wear glasses whenever I read.

77. I killed a cat once. I hit it with my car.

78. I once won a trip to Nashville, TN in a radio contest.

79. I always have my toenails polished.

80. I luv funky shoes.

81. I am Catholic, but not practicing.

82. On our yearly CAT tests in school, I always marked Hispanic.

83. I've been to Canada, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Arizona, New Mexico, Wyoming, Utah, Tennesee, Michigan, Hawaii, and Mexico.

84. Dog Creek, Delta Road.

85. I hate vegetables.

86. I can recite all 50 states in alphabetical order.

87. I cannot and will not learn to drive stick.

88. I luved the way my mom's hands smelled when she got off work at the cannery when I was little.

89. For the most part I have brown hair.

90. I pop my fingers all the time.

91. I always sing in the car and got my kids doing the same.

92. I never went to college, to which I regret.

93. I am mexican and german.

94. My sisters and I all have all named our kids after someone in the family.

95. I've been told that I couldn't talk very well when I was a baby. Everything was a point and "E" "E"...my nickname is Ebers (by my dad)

96. "I scared"

97. " I hold your hand"

98. "Then I go"

99. My sister and I used to lie in bed with our Mom and sing old songs that her mother used to teach her. I have passed that onto my kids. Ruben Ruben I've been thinking, Mares eat oates, and I'm forever blowing bubbles.

100. I like this and will probably do another 100. Later on.

My mom

Below will be a list of things, right off the top of my head, about my mom I don't want to forget. In no way shape or form is this a complete list. I'm sure I'll remember more of these little tidbits, but for now....they are as follow:

1. Sickness - "Mom, I don't feel good, I think i have a headache," and the woman is going thru her medical dictionary in her head faster than you can say spinal menighitis, which is what her answer will be 8 out of 10 times. Don't have the flu, cause then you have blocked intestines, and if you have a fever, you are experiencing the fist signs of HIV.

2. Money - "Can I borrow $40.00?" Her answer will always be yes and she is glad to give it as long as she writes it down in a log that she keeps in her dresser. The money situation will come up every now and then when she needs to go to the store. See Going Places.

3. Fashion - My mom is actual a very good dresser. My husband thinks she dresses the nicest out of all of us. Couple of guidelines: Absolutely no shorts, capris are good, sleeves must be quarter length, no dresses/skirts unless she's at a funeral or wedding, and no high heels.

4. Going places. My mom will never come right out and ask if she needs to go places. She will either remind you that she will never ask anything of anyone and or bring up that "that's not what I said when you wanted to borrow that $40.00"

If only.....

I could say that I have accomplished the following random things:

1. To be a good person (yeah, ok this is a stretch)

2. Learn north from south and east from west. (This just has me very confused and I never can give or take directions. Just tell me by what mall or restaurant you are at and I'll get there.)

3. Learn the memory key on a calculator. (This also eludes me as well.)

4. Lean spanish. (If I have to, I can probably suss out what someone is saying, but I want to speak and understand fluently)

5. Learn to drive stick. (I drive with both feet, left on brake, right on gas and when I'm not doing that then my left is up against the dash. So maybe I'll never learn this one.)

6. Learn to sew. (Hell, I'd settle for being able to sew a button on.)

7. Learn to be organized. (hopelesss i know, but it never hurts to dream)

8. Learn to rollerblade. (I'm still stuck on the shoe ones with four wheels. My "cankles" can't hold me up, that's what I think is the problem)

9. Learn how to take pictures. (Correctly. I know how to point and shoot, but I want to "capture" a picture. With RP, I'm running out of time to do that. Pretty soon, I'll be able to zero in on a nose or eye real good though.)

10. Learn to french braid. (My daughters hair is very long and the only thing I know is "do you want one pony tail or two?")

11. Learn to do nails. (Do you realize the money you can spend on this shit? $18.00 every 2 weeks, $26.00 every backfill , plus tip)

12. Learn to read a map. (Kind of goes with #2, so if I can't get that down, I guess #12 is irrevelant)

It's 11:00 do you know where your bedroom is?

Obviously not, cause I still haven't gone in there to clean it yet. Damn.

What a mess!

Ok....I am finally ready to admit I suck at being a hosuewife. I am very good at making money (or enough so, that when hubby decides to "take a rest", we survive) and I'm good at helping out with my daughter's sports year round, but as a housewife/cleaner....I suck. I have yet discovered how so many other working mom's do it. And the worse part, I don't even cook. Pathetic as it sounds, I just can't seem to get it in my head to come home and cook. Now with cheer going on, I am not home until 8:15 pm and there's no way in hell I'm going into the kitchen at that time. I do keep up on laundry ok. I usually do 3-4 loads a day. Of course I don't ever seem to be able to put them all away in the same day that I do them. But none the less, if someone needs clean clothes, "go look in the baskets". I can sit there and complain with the best of them why I don't have time to do everything a "mom" should be doing. Cooking, cleaning, ironing, scrubbing....pulease, I haven't picked up a mop since '98. Other mom's do it, why can't I? I go to work, I go to cheer, and if hubby didn't make dinner, I'm going to order it and pick it up on the way home.

This little ramble is courtesy of a big black spider. My husband calls me into our bedroom last night. Since the bedroom is mine and I can easily close the door on it, it gets the least attention. Clothes everywhere, clean/dirty...who knows? curling irons, flat irons, laundry baskets, shoes, everywhere!!!! He starts ranting and raving at how "this is the reason you need to pick up in here" as he pointing to the anaconda's of all black spiders. HUGE!!! That word dosen't do it justice. We're talking Little Miss Muffet and shit. I was getting prepared to be eaten by this fucking arachnoid. Remember that movie, Aracnophobia with Courtney Cox's husband? The big spiders were chasing the motorbike kids over the desert and just enveloping them. As I took a closer look, that's the exact thought that went thru my cluttered mind. Jesus...I was mortified that such a thing could live in my bedroom and a little bit scared as to thinking how many others are there in there. Tonight I will be going home to clean my room. I sound and feel like a little kid who got scolded from their mom to clean their pig sty they live in.

RAMBLINGS:

Look up departure cruise dates from Long Beach

Buy big spider nets.

Happy Birthday, baby sis!