a LITTLE rAMBLE wITH lOVE

Going over to sis site, I saw that she wrote some stuff down about our Gma C. It was her birthday yesterday. I hadn't realized that I didn't know her all too well. That makes me sad. I luved my Gma C and Gpa Bud, they were great, but they were older for me than for her. She got to live next door to them for 13 years and have them while they were in their prime. I got to see them slowly getting older and having problems. I realize that the boy and the girl are as close to their Gma and feel very good that they will get to see the good mixed in with the bad. Gma K is their second mom.

I remember things here and there that have stuck in my mind about Gma C. But things like making her own frosting??? Never knew that one. What I do remember is her spaghetti...very very good. I remember the Charles Schultz Peanuts cartoon book that I always read over there. Those and all the Enquirer's. I remember her black rimmed glasses she wore. Mom taking her to the store for groceries and having the same list week after week (just like my kids do for her). How sad, off the top of my head that's it. I can't remember her voice, nor her smell, or her mannerisms. I do remember towards the end, the angry looks she would give and smart remarks to Gpa Bud. I remember her in the home that we had to put her in. She wore no glasses while she was in there.

I wish I could remember more of the good.

mY nEW tv oBSESSION

man oh man...I coudln't wait for tonight. For tonight was the season premier of Deadliest Catch.

A year ago, hubby and I and the kids were lying around on a lazy Sunday and we happened to turn on the Discovery Channel. They had a marathon of Deadliest Catch. It's about crab fishing. They follow these boats around and let you see what a thrill and a dangerous job this really is. Now, I know nothing about boating, nor crab fishing. Hell I don't even eat seafood, let a lone crab legs. But man I was hooked. It's really a neat show. We sat there that Sunday and watched every episode of Season 1. I couldn't wait for 2 to begin. Tonight was that night. Promptly at 9:00, I turned to watch my new found friends, the crab fishermen. I hate that its only a 1/2hr show. I need more.

I need a life.

Five weird things about me.

1. Weird, and dangerous. I have to drive with one foot up on the console. I partly do this cause I tend to drive with 2 feet...one on brake the other on the gas. So to stop this I stick it up against my left air vent.

2. 35 yr old, married w/2 kids and I still read Buffy fanfic everynight!! 'Nuff said.

3. Never iron at night (except before a trip). Something mom did and handed down to us quacks that we all seem to follow.

4. I have to sleep on my side, no matter what. Most nights I have to sleep on my side with one leg propped up on my husband. he hates this, but if he wants to continue to get some, he better let the leg stay up there.

5. The bedroom door can never be closed while I sleep. I always slept in my mom's house with the door open. Never did it close. Hubby likes the door closed and I forbid it.

About me, from A - Z

1. Accent: Can't even do a crappy version of one.
2. Booze of choice: Tequila
3. Chore I hate: Cleaning
4. Dog or cat: kittens
5. Essential electronics: Stereo
6. Favorite perfume/cologne: Amor Amor
7. Gold or silver: Silver
8. Hometown: Bear Town, CA ditto
9. Insomnia: Once I decide to go to bed, its minutes when I fall to sleep
10. Job title: Pit Viper (sometimes collector for my job)
11. Kids: the boy and the girl
12. Living arrangements: 3 bedrooms, one computer room, at the moment, which is odd, its just the hubby, the boy and the girl.
13. Most admired trait: honestly I have no idea...is that bad?
14. Number of sexual partners: oh man, strawberry
15. Overnight hospital stays: twice for the boy and the girl
16. Phobia: I fear nothing....other than getting lost. I hate that feeling.
17. Quote: "Oh hell no"
18. Religion: Catholic
19. Siblings: two older sis's (hey, sis) one younger
20. Time I wake up: 6:30, snooze until 6:55 just in time to put on Buffy while getting ready
21. Unusual talent or skill: Touch my tongue to my chin. Pull my eyeballs back into the sockets (see profile), spread my toes so they look like fingers, oh I's gots all kinds of talents
22. Vegetable I refuse to eat: every single damn one of them
23. Worst habit: leaving the iron all day after I iron in the morning (cause I can't at night)
24. X-rays: with the boy and the girl; CAT Scan; numberous chest X-rays
25. Yummy foods I make: a run to the restaurant for: Calzone, steak & twice baked potatoes, all kids of good foods
26. Zodiac sign: Taurus

iT'S a lITTLE qUIET iN hERE

my mind that is. nothing to write as of late but I thoughtI'd write a little somethin' somethin'.

Today marks Day 1 for hubby. Day one as in sobriety Day one. Now, he's not an average alcoholic. He likes his beer and he likes his beer in large quanities. He doesn't drink during the week just the weekends and when he does, he don't play games. It's not a six pack or a 12 pack, its more like a case. He's a happy drunk. Not sullen or moody or angry, he just himself but a little more adventurous, as in like break dancing in front of everyone or trying to act like some in Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon. Stupid stuff.

Seems he went to the dr last week and the doctor said (No more monkey's jumping on my bed)no, what he said was....no more drinking for 30 days. Seems his liver is a bit inflamed and his enzyme count is high.

Great, so he puts his liver thru hell and we get the crabby man. It won't be that bad the first 2 weeks, I'm wagering. The 3rd and 4th week is going to be a doozy. I'll keep this updated so I can gauge his moods. This will be fun.

i gIVE up

Hubby called and just said that he found the hook up. We're going Granite. We found a guy who a friend recommended and he will do the granite slab for $3,500. I just give up.




Here's what my counter top looks at this moment. I'm sure it will be like this for awhile.




So, this is what hubby went and got. We took home a sample to see how it it's gonna be.

i fREAKIN' jINXED iT

Not more than, what, a 1/2 hr after I posted this about my beautiful countertops did I get this call...

me: Hello?

hubby: I was thinking.....

me: oh god, what

hubby: I broke thru 1/3 of the countertop and I was just thinking of something we could do

me: Your due in Home Depot in one hour to go over the finalized drawing and sign off on it.....what happened?

hubby: I can do it. We can go get the granite tiles we saw and I can cut and install it myself.
It's gonna save us 2k easy.

me: OMG...

See what I did? I asked for it. I actually wrote about it before we paid for it.

nEW pROJECT

It's time we did out countertops. why? cause I don't like grout and I don't clean grout. My nice white grout is actual kind of dark greyish now. Not everywhere, but enought places to where I'm not liking it. Soooooo....hubby and i have been going over and over the kinds and colors. Granite's out of the question, cause I have mucho counter space and I don't feel like spending 8,500 on it. Silestone and Corian it is. I've been to the websites, I've been to the Home shows, I've been to the contractors and to both the blue (Lowe's) and the orange (Home Depot). It's been 32 days since we decided to do this and today's the day we begin. Hopfully, as I type, the hubby has got the chisel (hammer? whatever he's using) and has started to blast thru the tile so that Home Depot can come out and do a measurement.


Finally a color.





Am I thrilled with the selection, I wouldn't say thrilled, but It's do-able. We 're so fed up with types, patterns, and colors, we just kind of went in and pointed and said, "That one, just do it"

The good thing is that it does have some sort of burgundy color in it and that may be great, cause I would love to do the kitchen in some sort of that color. This could get interesting.

I'll have to go home and take pics of hubbys demolition work in progress. They say we will be a month without counters.....big whooop...its not like I go into the kitchen anyways.

i cAN'T eVEN bEGIN tO mAKE uP tHIS sTUFF

even if I tried.

Hubby came in the computer room last night all sleepy eyed and groggy. He had went to bed abuot an hour before. At first, I thought he had a nightmare. Sometimes when he has one, he comes in and gets me. Nope, not a nightmare, well not the sleepy kind at least.

I looked into his face and he had this horrible looking scrunchy face that I haven't seen before. He was itching in between his legs. I didn't want to ask, but I couldn't help it.

me: "what's wrong?"

him: "Mooooooom, I hurt. It's burning."

me: "What's burning?" as I warily look down to wear his hand is at.

him: "I don't know, I felt chaffed cause my legs are rubbing against the stiff jeans I have to wear as my uniform and I put some lotion down there."

me: with a groan...."Um, what lotion did you use?"

him: "The one on the nightstand by you."

me: "Um , babe, go wash that shit off, its Avon's Footworks Theraputic Lotion for Cracked Feet, dumbass!!

I couldn't stop laughing as I heard the water running in the bathroom. I luv that man.

lET iT sNOW...lET iT sNOW..lET iT sNOW

anywhere but where the fuck I am.

The Gma, the boy and the girl and I left for our trip down south to catch my wonderful talented 8 yrs old niece act in her first starring role in "Rumplestilskin".

The weatherman said, "Bad weather...blah blah..snow on the valley floor..blah blah...freezing temps." Since I never pay attn to them, I didn't think it was possible. Wrong. Going up the grapevine, I noticed some sprinkling rain and the sky go black. No problem. The rain started getting heavier. No problem. Then all of a sudden, little drifts of snow came flying at me. A problem. 2 miles later, the car and windshield was covered in SNOW. A big fucking problem. I've been in the snow. I've played in the snow. I've never driven in the shit before and here I was with the gma and the kids only.

As it started to get heavier, I got a signal and called the brother in law down south and asked if there was lodgings anywhere where I was near. The conversation went something like this.

me: "R, is there any hotels near Lebec?"
R: "What?"
me: "Is there any hotels near me?"
R: "hotels?"
me: ARE THERE ANY LODGINGS NEAR LEBEC!!!!! NEVERMIND!"
click ...idiot.

I kept repeating the mantra, "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God" over and over again. It was getting worse. The gma was actually really calm while sticking her nose to the windshield to see if she could see out. The boy was asked by the Gma to read out the signs so we could see where we were going. He did a good job, literally reading everything he saw. The girl was crying. So If we were being taped, you'd hear something like this:

"Oh God Oh God..."Call Box"..."Mommy, turn around"...Oh God..."Elevation 3000"..."Mommy, can u see?".."Oh God Oh God".."You could do this"..."Frazier Park 3 mi" ..."Oh God Oh God"..."wahhhhhhh"...."Call Box"

Reading that over, it's pretty funny. Living it wasn't.



(Not of me, but damn close to what I saw)




We finally made it past Gorman and it was getting better. When Castaic was in sight the snow had stopped and we all breathed a sigh of relief. That's when the hysteria set in. I called up big sis and started to cry. Little Sis called and I started crying. I lost it. I just kept seeing me spinning the car in the snow and crashing into a car or the side of the mountain. It was hell.

We made the ususal 4 hr ride in 6 and ended up at little sis's just before dark. Hell was over...for now. Sat was the play and it was sooooooo good. She really really did well. It was effortless on her part. She takes to acting like a fish in water. No flubbing, no hesitation....right on cue each time and the crowd loved her. You kept hearing throughout the show, "She's sooo good" - "How adorable". It made you beam. The trip up the mountain in Hell was worth it.






"Don't be reckless with my necklace!"






The grapevine closed all that day and night and was still closed the next morning. I figured we were going to be stuck there another day cause I sure the fuck wasn't going to be driving that road in the snow again. We laid about in our pj's and started to look up the weather on the computer. Lo and behold they said the road was clear and if you were going to go, go now cause another storm was moving in.

"Let's move it, throw everything we brought in a bag and get out!!" Kids, sisters, gma's were flying everywhere throwing everything into our suitcases and into the trunk. We had everything packed and ready in 30 min. At the last possible moment, the Gma then realized she didn't have her bra on. Too late I shouted, its in the suitcase and its at the bottom, your going without! So off we went, gma bra-less, me in my xmas pj's and the kids barefoot. Needless to say if we got stuck over that grapevine, we'd freeze to death.

At about the time we found out that the roads were opened, oldest sis called and said that her daughter was in the local ER with a fever (4 days) and they were running a cat scan and possible spinal tap. I'll let the good sis write about the wonderful skilled hospital staff we have to deal with. Ok, so we have the snow and we have the niece. The snow didn't stand a chance. We flew thru the mountains and got to Big Town Hospital in 4 hrs 10 min. Which is pretty good. (Had to make a pit stop at Gma's house to get a bra on though, I of course, true to form went to the hospital in my xmas pj.s.

The poor baby, she went thru soo much that day. I wanted to cry when I walked in there but I held my cool and I wouldn't let R see me worry. She was sooo grown up and took everything well when I was there. I heard a little bit of a different story in regards to the local ER's, but I wouldn't blame her with those quacks over there. They ended up doing a spinal tap there and she was really good. The only bad thing was that I was making her laugh and that ain't good when they got a needle in your spine. Bad Auntie.

All tests were negative and they were going to release her that night. She still has to see the doctor and find out what's going on though. They're stumped. We left around 7:30 or so and followed each other home, thank god, cause i couldn't find my wait out of that damn place.

I came home, smoked a cigarette, kissed hubby good night and that was all she wrote.

i hAD a dREAM

of all things that I was pregnant. I was 5 or 6 months along by the looks of it. I had the swolen ankles, the "pregnancy waddle", the heartburn, and the uncomfortable sleeping.

I realized this morning that the reason I had that dream is how I saw myself naked in my mirror last night. I turned to the side and holy shit I have a huge fucking stomach! I've always been "thick" around my ass and thighs, it's just where all the weight went. It has nowhere else to go now but in my stomach. I turned to my profile last night and I looked at my tummy. Damn, if I didn't see the baby moving around.

How depressing.

a wOMANS bEST fRIEND

Last night around 9:00 pm I got a call from friend R in a panic.

"J, something's wrong with my dog, he's just lying there in the grass and when he tries to get up , he falls"

"I'll be right there."

Quick as a whip, I ran down to the house and sat there with the dog while she drove to the vet to see if he was there. I kept peeking out and praying upon praying that nothing happens to him while she was out. The dog is old and has had a very good life. He's a 15yr old Chow. He is her child. I didn't want her to come home and see that he passed away in her house (her biggest fear). She came back and told me that she got a hold of the doctor and he'll meet us there. Hubby came down to help us pick him up and get him in the car, I drove (in the dark, no less) and R sat in the back with her doggie in her lap.

We knew it would happen one day. That dog is her life. Once, it got out and ran away. For a week straight, I set my alarm clock around 2:00 am and got the kids up and went driving around looking for him. We went out and put up hundreds of flyers around town and 1 1/2 weeks later, a little girl knew where the doggie was.

The doctor said, "He's nearing the end, and you might want to consider some options."

He said to come back in the morning and he would run some tests. So last night, we let the dog walk around as best as he could out in the front yard and took pictures of him. I couldn't get him to sit up and look up, so she had to do it while I took the pictures. It was dark and the dog is black and she was all in black, so you could imagine that I took some really horrible pics of half cut off heads and bodies. I laid down on the sidewalk and got a really really good picture of him and her. I'm glad we did that.

I called this morning at 9:00 and she was crying and saying that she had to let him go. He was blind, deaf, and had started to get arthritis, and while those problems were already there, it looks as though the liver and kidneys were being affected now. She made the decision on the spot, held him for a bit, and let him go. It was really for the best though and I think she knew it was time.

The wonderful crazy thing was that she had been out of the country for the past five weeks and had just come home Wednesday. I think he waited for her.

hahahahaha......i gOT a lOT OF uNDESERVED lOWS!!!

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:	Low
Borderline Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Disorder:	High
Avoidant Disorder:	Low
Dependent Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

wEDNESDRIBBLE

1. Middle sis is home from vacay

2. Friend R is still gone.

3. Baby sis called, niece is not feeling well. Possible infection again. Told her no baths and lots of water

4. Tried to put togther a table today. I have 4 legs and a table top strewn about the floor now.

5. Futurama is on right now.

6. Friend L hasn't called in 4 days, something's up.

7. Laundry room still isn't done

8. Fat....yep. Still fat.

9. Brought my hawaiian coins home so sis can take to the bank later on.

10. Watched American Idol (yeah, I said it)tonight.

11. Looked up Henry HIll, Paul Cicero and Tommy Desimoone on line tonight. How bored am I!!

12. Bought a new table and chairs. Have to get rid of the old one now.

wHEN iN dOUBT, sURVEY

***You Are 58% Evil***


You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.


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***You Should Weigh 195***


If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight.
If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!


How Much Do You Weigh?
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***Your Brain's Pattern***


You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.
You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.
People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.
But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.


What Pattern Is Your Brain?
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