Ramblings of a Mad Piggie

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

My husband

My 14th anniversary is upon me. I have stayed married to my "wonderful" husbnd for that many years. I can't belive it. We will be celebrating August 24th. Here's some things about dear ol hubby.

1. He's of mexican descent.

2. He's short and round.

3. He likes to drink. Alot.

4. But never alone.

5. He's not really good with the kids, but I totally make up for it.

6. He has had 7 jobs since the age of 18.

7. He is 1 year older than I.

8. He speaks Spanish fluently, but does not write it.

9. He is hilarious.

10. Probably why I still am with him. The day he stops making me laugh is the day he find his shit on the lawn.

11. He can never stay mad at me no mater what.

12. Big bonus for me.

13. He smokes.

14. He always said he wanted either 6 kids or 6 dobermans.

15. He doesn't have either.

16. He is a people person. Any age, race, personality. It doesn't matter. He has old friends, young friends, people on the police force, ex-cons, women, men, Mexican, Chineese, Indian, African American, White, Hmong, .....it just doesen't matter.

17. Around town to most, he is known as the Godfather. Try hearing that while walking thru Wal Mart. Hilarious!

18. He is a good dancer. That's why I never dance with him.

19. He has prettier feet than me.

20. He was a figther since he was little. Always in a fist fight with someone and always won.

21. He's broken his nose twice. I said won the fight, but I didn't say he came out unscathed.

22. He listens to spanish, oldies and rap.

23. He can't go to bed without me. I always have to lay down for awhile with him so that he can drift off to beddy bye. Pathetic.

24. He calls me everyday to make sure that I'm up and getting ready for work.

25. He knows I have a problem with my spending and I know he has a problem with his drinking. I think its a fair swap.

26. He can't go anywhere, and I mean anywhere without knowing someone. Once when he was doing long-haul and he stopped in a diner in Washington, he saw a friend from long ago. What's the chances of that happening.

27. He takes care of all the bills.

28. He's a better decorator than I.

29. I like to call him "Marcos Stewart"

30. He luvs old karate movies. Subtitled ones and all.

31. He has to sleep in his boxers and have it freezing cold to be able to sleep comfortable.

32. He has to have sex at least 4 times a week or he gets cranky. I keep hoping his libido slows down as he ages. It's not.

33. He hates my taste of music and t.v shows.

34. All except Buffy and Angel and Entourage. I got him hooked on those.

35. He has the most beautiful long lashes. Both my kids got them also.

36. Did I mention he's short and round?

37. He is going white fast. His mustache and beard are even starting go there. He blames me for all his whitness.

38. My dad and he got along great. More like father-son than son-in-law.

39. I know he still misses him terribly, but doesn't like to talk about it.

40. His biggest fear is that he will get swallowed up in a big wave.

41. He wants to get cremated.

42. He's great at working on his cars, but it bores him.

43. He can fix almost anything as long as there is beer.

44. He once decorated a Christmas tree with budweiser cans as decorations. There was Bud, Bud Light, & Bud Ice cans hanging all over the damn thing.

45. He used to have a bicycle without a seat as a kid.

46. He once had to drag a xmas tree 12 blocks to home, cause his drunk dad forgot to pick him up. Needless to say the tree became a "Charlie Brown" tree by the time he made it home.

47. He was born in Texas

48. He is the second to the youngest kid out of 5 but is treated more like the father than a brother.

49. He used to be able to lift 350lbs when he was younger. Ah, those were the days.

50. I know somewhere I put in here that he was short and round, right?

51. He is computer illeterate.

52. He's an excellent artist. He can draw anyone or anything if he can just sit still long enought to do it.

53. He hurt his back in a work accident and was out of work for 1 1/2 years.

54. He's allergic to bees. Hence the reason I always say I'm going to get a hive for the backyard.

55. He has a chipped front tooth and wants to fix it but knows the girl is going to need braces.

56. He's generous to a point and is not selfish most of the time.

57. He can stay out until 6:00 in the morning and knows that I won't be mad.

58. He also knows that the bank account will get hit hard by me the day after he does that.

59. Short

60. Round

61. He has a huge scar on his stomache where he got his appendix out as a kid.

62. He's a procrastinator....like me.

63. He's a very light sleeper...not like me.

64. He's never picked up a book to just read since I've known him.

65. When going to see a movie, he must have a large popcorn, large drink, and whoppers.

66. He snores only when he's been drinking.

67. He has 20/20....not like me.

68. He loves trying new foods. Proably where the round comes in.

69. He cannot drink a beer with dinner. Only after or before.

70. He has to have 8 hrs of sleep.

71. He can still pop and break dance like none other.

72. He once went to a bar with dog shit on the back of his coat. He was fighting with his friend and they rolled around on the grass. Everyone was scared to say anything to him about it.

73. He has driven in the past, a white Mazda 626, my old toyota celica, a red Mitsubishi truck, a silver Nissan Sentra, and a silver convertible little car (can't remember what type)

74. My dad let him take his brown Toyota Corona to take his driver liscence test.

75. He left me in the hospital the first night his son was born to go out and celebrate. Bastard.

76. When my daughter was born, he got to go in and see the C-Section being done. His exact words. "It's a mess in there. It looks complicated, l.ike a bunch of car parts."

77. "Yeah, Yeah, Strawberry."

78. He once went away for the army when he was 18 and came back like 2 1/2 months later. I still say he went and did itme somewhere and he just doesn't want me to know.

79. In grief we're horrible for each other. He stays away from me and I stay away from him.

80. He still likes to hold hands when we walk.

81. He never bad-mouths me in public to anyone outside the family that is. But always with a sense of humor.

82. I love that short, round man.


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