The underarm man.

I have never seen such a site......or heard something as so ridulous as my husband standing here saying, "blow on my armpits"...!!! "They're on fire, mom...blow." As my head is being directred under his arms, I'm typing this and trying to blow. I'm laughing so hard that all I end up doing is spitting all over them. What a sight we make.

My hubby has the problem that if he runs out of his Speed Stick, his pits starting itching and they turn an ugly shade of black. No, not red...I did not mistype the color. Black. The drunk ass comes in from his garage and as he's trying to complete a sentence that actually makes some sense, he's itching under his arm. He ran out of his precious stick today and because he didn't want to interrupt the 12 hour drunk fest that occurs every Sunday and actually go to the store and buy some, he gets to suffer for the day.

To help this situation, he sprays the boys Axe and gives a little scream. The alcohol in the Axe seems to burn the shit out of him and then almost immediately soothes him. Don't ask me how this shit works. This is not the first time that he has done this. It just happens to be the funniest, cause he's never asked me to blow on them.

Fucking drunk.