tHE bLEEPING yANKEES

It's that time again. The girls softball is upon us. That means Coach Hubby and his two amigos get to take 12 girls out to the field to show them how to hit, catch and throw a ball. Fun times people. Fun times.

I go out there and make sure I know all the girls names and say hi to the Mom's. I butt in when I'm not supposed to most times but hey...my hubby's team lets me say whatever the fuck I want.

So here's the first practice. The usual "hey good practice girls" or a "things are going to be fun this year" and as always the obligatory "we have one heck of a team"
Let's put this in perspective. First of all: 4 of the 12 have NEVER played softball. Ok...breath. Can do. Can do.
And secondly and most important: We've had our first coach to parent meeting.
It seems that one of the Dad's thought that he had Hank Aaron incarnate or some shit like that and he came up to us after practice and the convo went like this:
Dad: Do you guys have the other coach's numbers?
me: "Oh yeah, I have all three of the girls coach's cells and home numbers. I'll pass them out at the next practice.
Dad: No, I mean the other league's coach's number.
(I of course get what he means, meanwhile, hubby just stands there)
me: "Why, what's up. What do you need?" (that's me cutting to the point)
Dad: (looking at me and then to hubby) Can I have a one on one with you? (looking at hubby)

WHATEVER!

The next 20 minutes was the dad with the golden softball player telling my hubby what horrible coaching there was last year and he wants to trade his girl to another team. The *(%^** nerve. Hellooooooo. This aint no world series. Our league doesn't even keep a running score for christsakes and you want to vent that we didn't teach stealing or sliding? Hell, 1/2 the team last year couldn't even run to 1st base! ( We had some large boned girls last year, mind you). Hubby was really good and explained to him the rules of coaching and that you couldn't yell at the girls to do what they wanted them to do and blah blah blah. Your welcome to try and trade...blah blah blah. The other coaches are the same blah blah blah.

Needless to say ol'"Ruth" is staying on the team and they'll see us at the next practice.

Oh boy!