aND sO iT bEGINS

Thursday, first day of school for the kids. They like their classes all except the girl in her Broadcasting class. She thought they were just going to be announcing the bulletin over the loud speaker, instead of videotaping it. She of all people, the un-shy one, doesn't wan to go in front of the camera to be an "anchor". Go figure.

The boy...oh boy. That night, I looked over their homework and saw that he had to write an autobiography of himself. Just 5 short questions to be answered. Really normal questions it seems.

1. Name

2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Answer: Wandering the planet in search of things.

3. If you had 3 wishes what would they be? Answer: To have silver eyes (he called them something like cybleon or some crap, I googled it but I can't remember the spelling)

4. Where is the one place you want to visit? Answer: Heaven because I am an atheist and I want to know what a Christian's view of paradise is.

Ok, so there is where I stopped and looked up and just lost it. Already , first day of school and there goes the boy back in his world. I thought we had gotten thru this with junior high, but no...silver eyes and heaven. Shit.

Now I know it doesn't seem to much of bad thing to write down, but this day and age, you can't write stuff down like that and have the teacher look at you as being somewhat "normal". The boy said, I'm sorry I'm not normal. I told him I don't know what normal is and that's not what I'm accusing you of, it's just that these teachers will see you for 42 minutes a day and that's all they're gonna know you as. As I've said before, the boy does have an imagination and one day, maybe he will be the next M. Night (as sis says) if he does great, if he doesn't , then were in trouble.

I admit I freaked out a bit and said I wasn't going to go thru this shit again this year and if it takes him to fake it and put down answers that are what everybody else puts down , then so be it, we're going to do it. Around that time, I called the boys father and told him to come home, but nooooo, he "didn't want to deal with it right now". What a fucker. I 'm not writing about the whole night cause quite frankly it exhausts me to think about it. Needless to say, it ended up with me crying my eyes out saying, "I just want my Dad back".

You see, it was the day that it was the 5th year that we haven't had him and like I said before, its actually getting harder and harder each year. I don't know what or if my dad would have made a difference in the boy's life, but I 'd like to think he would have. Just another male for him to be around other than his dad maybe would've made a difference in his life. I called up my insurance and asked for a list of dr's that maybe he could talk to and feel better about this "world". I think I'm going to go for some sessions myself. Something just ain't right.

He ended up changing his answers later that night...

3 wishes? Answer: To have a million dollars and buy a new house

visit? Answer: Hawaii so that I can see the sun set.

From one extreme to the other I tell you.